Recently, I have been getting a lot of complaints about son’s behavior. These complaints came mostly from family members about him misbehaving and at times from his school bus auntie. When told not to do certain things, he will purposely do it. Maybe I should say that he is acting out. I know that something is wrong but is not able to pin-point the cause.
I started to reflect.
What caused the change in his behavior that everyone started to label him as naughty? Usually, I will send Kaiden to school. Especially recently, he has been clinging and whining to me whenever I sent him. Teacher has to pull him away from me or I have to sneak off. It was not longer a breeze sending him to school. I actually pin-pointed the problem to the school. Last week, I asked the teacher if anything had happened in school and was wondering why such behavior.
Teacher called me that very afternoon, told me that she has spoken to Kaiden, only to say that he did not want to go Speech and Drama. Teacher said he is a polite and well-behaved boy, gets on well with his friends and never gives her problems in class. I was even speculating that he could be bullied by his classmates cos he has been giving his toys away to his friends. I shared with her the different Kaiden at home, the naughty and hyper-active one which is a different person to her. Then she posed the question back to me…. Could it be that something happen at home recently? Or any privileges that were taken away that caused him to act out? I paused and could not answer cos most of the time, he is at my mil’s place. Asked him about things happened in mil place, he just brushed across saying nothing. It then dawned on me that I may not be spending enough time with him. My focus was on Kaitlyn. The whole afternoon, he was at my mil’s place as I used all my afternoons running workshops, creating and vetting worksheets.
No wonder, he wants me by his side on his bed to accompany him every night.
No wonder, he wants me to send him to school every morning.
No wonder, he would always ask if I have workshops, if I could pick him up from Granny’s place earlier.
Teacher told me to have a good chat with him hoping that we could find out the root of the problem and not just label him as naughty. No one likes to be labeled.
Not accepting more workshops, I decided to spend a little more time with him. Working from home so that I could bring him home earlier. Probably to him, his language of love is quality time.
He enjoys his company with grandfather. Though grandfather spends very little time with him every weekend, he spends quality time. Really enjoying what he does with Kaiden and focusing on doing it only with him. Father would bring out different kinds of exercising gears to workout with him only. So funny when Father took out the dumbbells and followed through with Kaiden. Father was more excited and amazed than Kaiden when he could lift both the dumbbells.
Let’s get ready to exercise!
Tummy Tuck Time
Then swing our arms!
Lift your legs and touch your feet!
Twill our bellies…
and finally march on the spot.
That ends the exercise procedures. Kaiden was proud of himself and decided to show grandfather one last stunt…
So come to think of it… throughout the process, I don’t see son not being able to take instructions… or misbehaving. He was just enjoying the fun he had with grandfather. Clearly the time spent was deeply etched in his memory…. So happened when school required him to complete a work, he did this. Pictures of course done by me but is the thought that counts right.
So ya… A reminder to myself, I should try to listen to him more and spend quality time with him. Focus on him and look at him while talking instead on my phone. *Guilty*